One of the hardest parts of this trip has been seeing things that I know I will probably think about for a long time. Seeing kids without shoes walking around, people begging for food or money, with babies in their arms, and people showering in the streets is difficult. I think spending so much time in Gurdaspur, especially while being part of a field school, gave me a somewhat sheltered view of what everyday life in India can look like. Gurdaspur was also busy and full of life, but going to Delhi, Amritsar and Agra really opened my eyes to just how massive, crowded, and chaotic India is. There are around 1.5 billion people in the country, which is a number that is almost impossible to actually understand until you see the crowds, traffic, and streets for yourself.
The streets are packed with cars, rickshaws, and people, often with entire families squeezed onto motorcycles or into tiny vehicles. There were people sleeping or bathing on the streets and children and people approaching us and banging on the windows in traffic asking for money or food. I kept thinking about how different my life is in Canada and how privileged I am to be able to live somewhere with so many things that I normally take for granted. At the same time, I feel incredibly privileged to have been able to come to India and experience its beauty, history, and culture. It is strange to hold both of those feelings at once, to be amazed by a place while also feeling differently with some of the things you see. I kept wishing there was something more I could do to help, even though I know I am only a visitor here.
I kept thinking about the phrase, “To live in Delhi is to live in hell” that our driver who brought us from Delhi to Agra told us, (he also told us he hates driving but anyways). After spending time there, I can understand why someone might describe it that way. The heat, traffic, noise, crowds, and constant movement can feel like a lot all at once. But at the same time, Delhi is also full of history, culture, and people simply living their lives. I don’t think it is as simple as calling it one thing or another. Being there made me realize how easy it is to form an opinion about a place without actually understanding what it is like to live there.
Our experience in Agra was also interesting, although for very different reasons. We went on a tour of the Agra Fort and went to the Taj Mahal, which was truly incredible to see in person. I really enjoyed learning all the details about each place and seeing all its glory. However, afterward, our tour guide dropped us off at a store without explaining what was happening. Once inside, we were surrounded by salesmen trying to convince us to buy things, while our tour guide was nowhere to be found. The whole situation felt very uncomfortable and, speaking of consent cafes, very unconsensual. As three young women traveling on our own at that point, it was hard not to wonder if we were being taken advantage of because we were tourists. Thankfully, nothing truly dangerous happened, and we eventually left after being pressured into buying a few things, but the three of us walked away thinking, “What the heck just happened?”
We also had a sketchy interaction with a rickshaw driver who followed us back toward our hotel and tried to overcharge us. It was surprisingly difficult to get him to understand that we were saying no and that we did not want to continue the interaction. Another man pulled up beside us, yelling “hey baby,” and then told us to get into the same rickshaw. Experiences like that made me think about how different it feels to travel as three young women. I don’t want these experiences to make me stereotype India or assume that every interaction is unsafe, but they did make me more cautious.
Part of me wishes I could have gone right into the centre of Delhi, wandered around, and explored without thinking twice about safety. I want to experience a place as fully as possible, but I also realize that being cautious is sometimes necessary. I think that has been one of the biggest lessons of this trip. India is incredibly beautiful, but it is also complicated. My time in Gurdaspur gave me one perspective, while Delhi, Agra, and Amritsar showed me others. None of these experiences cancel each other out. If anything, they have made me realize that there isn’t one version of India. There are so many different realities happening at the same time, alongside so much beauty and culture, and I feel incredibly lucky and grateful, and maybe sometimes a little uncomfortable, to have been able to experience even a small part of them.